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There have been so many things I have wanted to be. I guess there will be so many more to come as well. I don't know why I do the things I do, not really. Often, I don't like the things I do, but I try hard to like myself and to keep others happy. I'm sorry for having failed in my duties as a friend to anyone. Also, I'm sorry to anyone I never befriended, whatever my reasons.
About three years ago, you all would have known a very different person. 1400 miles away, I knew a boy who was naive and innocent. He didn't know the difference between a Buddhist and a Taoist, or how to meditate, nor did he know a thing about martial arts. I realize now how precious those days were. I had a girl that loved me and I was happy with that, and I had a best friend who made me imagine and dream of worlds so much stranger than this one, who would have given serious consideration to taking a bullet for me. I really didn't need anything else then.
How times have changed, eh? I have many close friends who's words and lives have given me strength, parents who do the best they can, and my best friend (with whom I value my relationship to an indescribable degree) and I rarely understand each other. Things are still pretty good, right?
....I miss that boy, that boy who wanders lost in an ocean of deductive reasoning and cold honestly. When'd I get so hard-hearted and scared of the world?
This is probably gonna be my last post for a long while. Let's say indefinitely. I'll comment and respond sometimes, not that I tend to do that now anyway. Ask me for anything, and I swear by my honor and my bond as a friend, I'll move the sky and the stars to grant your request. |
| | Posted 3/2/2006 2:20 AM - 8 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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